"Snark Bites" 07/5-11

7/11
Engineer Says TVA Ash Spill Resulted From Dike Burst
In other news, water is wet and boo-boos are ouchy

From APB reports. KNOXVILLE - A $3 million study blaming a massive coal ash spill at TVA's Kingston Fossil Plant on a complex combination of structural factors and giant slugs is wrong, says an engineering expert who evaluated the disaster for his own clients.

Barry Switzer, who designs facilities similar to TVA's Kingston plant, doesn't buy the exotic conclusion of Tennessee Valley Authority consultant IMBOT Inc. that the spill was due mainly to mountainous slugs that liquefied the soils in the area thus destabilizing the dike and leaving behind vast trails of slime.

"That wasn't an explanation," Switzer said. "That was smoke and mirrors. I've been designing hydraulic-fill structures similar to the Kingston Fossil Plant landfill for 30 years, and I've never lost one to titanic slugs."

In a report shared with regulators, Switzer concludes the Dec. 22 breach that sent 5.4 million cubic yards of toxic-laden muck into the Emory River and a lakeside neighborhood had a simple explanation.

"It ain't rocket science," contends Switzer, president of Knoxville-based Sooner-Cowboys Environmental Associates Inc. "And it's not giant slugs from outer space. It was a plain old dike that burst."

No people were injured in the resultant flood, but TVA claims it must have killed the Leviathan-like gastropods responsible for the dike failure. The disaster was one of the worst of its kind in the United States and has brought new attention to the risks and lack of regulation of coal ash storage sites around the country. It also has sent authorities scrambling for methods to deal with rogue, mutant slugs and caused a run on government salt reserves...
http://blogs.knoxnews.com/knx/mcnutt/2009/07/engineer-says-tva-ash-spill-re.html

7/10
Dense "Brain Fog" Advisory for County Officials
Brain-foggy conditions may force officials to stay home; citizen reactions differ

From APB reports. KNOXVILLE - A dense brain fog advisory was issued this morning for Knox County officials, and Knox Countians heading into downtown were urged to use extreme caution around anyone suspected of being connected with county government.

The National Political Weather Service office issued the advisory early Friday morning, stating it might clear off around 2010.

Despite the brain fog advisory, many Knox County leaders insisted on showing up for work Friday morning.

"In some jobs, brain fog is an occupational hazard," said Dwight Van de Vate, chief administrative officer for County Mayor Mike Ragsdale. "In my position, it's a godsend."

Added mayoral Chief of Staff Mike Arms, "I like the cool, refreshing feeling of the damp, gray-matter vapor settling around my head - it keeps the workings of my mind shrouded in mystery - even from me."

In the City County Building, particularly dense fog surrounded the offices of Knox County Law Director Bill Lockett, intensifying whenever Knox County citizens or county commissioners approached with the latest demand for his ouster. Outside the county law offices alone, three hallway crashes occurred - two of them suspected of being brain-fog-related. Inside the offices, not even the faint outlines of Lockett's familiar shape could be seen.

A thick, malodorous cloud also hung over the Knox County Solid Waste Department - whether caused by the brain fog or the county's contracted mulch facility was impossible to tell. However, since the doings of that department are increasingly inscrutable, the impenetrable particulate curtain was business as usual...
http://blogs.knoxnews.com/knx/mcnutt/2009/07/dense-brain-fog-advisory-for-c.html

7/9
Knox County Opens New Political Playground
New "neutral turf" park allows politicians to run, jump and frolic openly

From APB reports. KNOXVILLE - Lumpy and Scoobie, a pair of enthusiastic political hounds, became the first official politicians to visit Knox County's newest political playground last week, making a mad dash onto the turf, then running, tumbling and barking delightedly.

Their owners, Deb and Ell Loper, arrived within minutes of the official ribbon-cutting at the Tommy Schumpert Political Playground.

"It's nice having this in the neighborhood," said Ell as he hurried along through the gates with Lumpy. "It's good to have a place where they can sort of stretch their legs and interact without sniffing, feeling threatened or having to assert dominance."

Knox County Mayor Mike Ragsdale said the project is largely the product of politician's suggestions from all across the county.

"We really wanted to include the politicians because they're the ones who are going to be using this playground," he said.

The four-acre political pet area is just one of the facilities at the 173-acre park off Rifle Range Road in North Knox County. The park, named for former County Executive Tommy Schumpert, also includes a variety of games and rides, a confession area and a place where the politicians can "play ball" in full public view.

"It's going to be great for us," said developer Tim Graham, who interacts with county politicians in places besides public playgrounds. "I think it will give the politicians something to be proud of and work toward as a reward for good behavior and time served."

Schumpert, a two-term county executive in the 1990s, joined other county leaders to cut the ribbon on the park.

"I can't express in words what this means to me," he said. "It's not for Tommy Schumpert. It's for all future county politicians."

Knox County Mayor Mike Ragsdale proposed the playground in 2005 on land that was purchased during Schumpert's administration for an amusement park. "Better leadership came in and had the vision to make it a political playground and an amusement park," Schumpert said, referring to Ragsdale.

The public is also welcome at the park - in selected areas and during restricted hours, of course. Supporters say it will give citizens the opportunity to observe politicians interacting in a more natural, uninhibited way than during meetings and workshops. Some of the amusement park attractions will also offer educational opportunities for the politically naive...
http://blogs.knoxnews.com/knx/mcnutt/2009/07/knox-county-opens-new-politica.html

7/7
Trustee Office Tries to Retake Scandal Crown
But scandal observers say mayor's refusal to sign law director censure out-scandalizes trustee flap

From APB reports. KNOXVILLE - Knox County Trustee Fred Sisk's office Monday was trying to regain the scandal limelight with a dispute over an employee's paycheck. However, most observers say the trustee will have to be far more shocking to divert attention from other county imbroglios - especially with the mayor's refusal to sign county commission's censure of county law director Bill Lockett competing for attention.


"Look, back in March we grabbed the headlines for several days with this same employee's P-card purchase of The Sopranos on Blue-ray and other audiovisual supplies," said Sisk. "I realize that in the intervening months some fairly spectacular scandals have occurred - the take-home vehicle fight, the mayor's budget, a Knox County deputy from Union County trying to corral the county charter in Nashville, and, of course, the walking, talking, 24/7 outrage generator that is the law director, among others. But really, it's time for us to get back in the spotlight, and I can't think of a more reliable way to proceed than with a little paycheck dispute drama. It's a solid performer."

At the heart of the disagreement between Sisk and delinquent-tax supervisor and online payment manager Herb Tarlek are Tarlek's claims for 141,000 hours of sick leave and comp time plus overtime pay for the Fourth of July holiday, which Sisk says Tarlek is not entitled to.

"Fourth of July? No way," said Sisk. "We might pay employees to take days off to shop before Christmas, but we don't pay for the Fourth of July. As far as the sick pay and comp pay, he lost track of where he was a little bit - not every employee keeps track of that like they should now that the payroll department is tracking our time and the TBI is reviewing our files. He might be due a few thousand of those hours, but not the whole 141,000. And if this brouhaha isn't scandal-worthy, then my name's not Mike Lo- I mean, Fred Sisk..."
http://blogs.knoxnews.com/knx/mcnutt/2009/07/trustee-office-tries-to-retake.html